reflection

You can't help who you love, and if it were up to me I would love you, just as much as you have loved me. you deserve to be with someone who can give you the world, as you have given me.

I lay awake most nights thinking about the things I've done to you. knowing that i had a chance, and knowing that I blew it.  Knowing we once danced together on affection so high it formed land mass under our feet, and surrounded by understanding so deep, it formed an ocean around us. I cant forgive my self knowing that you are stuck on that island now, alone. And knowing that I was the storm that brought you there.

We both have quite the journey ahead of us, as minutes turn into days turn into months and so on. It pains me to think I won't have you by my side to enjoy these moments with me, but I do know I carry your warmth in my heart along with everyone else's. And as blocks and miles and countries may soon separate us, know that your presence still warms me. And i know I will still warm you too. in your heart and in your mind. I Know this because you do not just live in a world, the world lives in you.

Our time was short. But I'll never be too far.

Listed

I really was trying to avoid telling anyone my New Year's goals, let alone posting for the world to see, but ten days into the New Year and I'm starting to lose traction. So here it is ladies and gentlemen, a comprehensive, yet subtle list of the things I will accomplish this year. Enjoy.

Working on projects I love

Experiencing abundance without materialism

Spend time on only people I feel are true in their intentions

Making money and spending it wisely

Purge myself of all unnecessary material possessions

Go back to school

Finding and experiencing my true beauty

Stay motivated, productive and creative

Learn how to say no to people

Being open to receive

Find peace

Hope this new year finds you all very well. Just as fair warning, Mercury goes into retrograde February 2-28... better find a hole to hide in now.

xx, LC

The Trouble with Everything

Recently, I stumbled on a podcast series called Radiolab that is based out of New York. Upon first listen, it seemed like everything I was looking for at the time. A collection of stories and experiences, well told in good humor and poetic in nature. I was immediately obsessed, and looking to break out of my Joe Rogan Experience listening binge (I used to listen to three podcasts a day. It was bad) I was hooked.

During my marathon listening sessions, I stumbled upon an episode entitled "The Trouble with Everything." The episode starts with writer Jenny Hollowell reading her short story "A History of Everything, Including You." It was a beautiful that isn't a love story. Listen for yourself below.



The whole podcast is based on man's incessant need to understand everything in this universe. It tackles the question of whether or not that is even possible and addresses what happens in man's attempt to understand. It's a harrowing narrative that ultimately solidifies my belief that nothing is certain, we as humans may never understand everything, nothing is in our control no matter how much we try and that the acceptance of these three facts will ultimately give you peace in a reality masked in chaos.


Enjoy.

xx, LC

The question.

What does it mean to love?

Can love end abruptly? 
Is it unforgiving?
Does it falter?
Does it give pause?
Does it have rhyme or reason?

Does the light of a dead star 
cease to lend it's shine to the universe
for decades after its death?

Does proximity play a factor?
Does love die?
Does it weaken?
Does it slowly disappear
when the players are planets away?

Does the moon and the earth
though miles apart
cease to spin and move and twirl
in an infinite and effortless universe?

Is our love not meant to be shared?
With not only few but with many?
Is it singular?
Is it finite?
Is it conditional?

If the warmth of the sun
is shared with all beings on earth
is it's heat diminished with each additional soul?

Does love often sail alongside
hate
spite
fear
anger.

Or are these the faults of men, 
disrupting the current 
the universe's greatest gift?

Are you meant to love one?
Or can you love many?
Are there different types of love?
Are we only meant for loving singularly?
Are our earthly hearts only capable of that?

The search for an answer only breeds a million more questions.  

xx, LC