paint that shit gold

Man, recession is a tough bitch. She's biased and shows no mercy. I've seen the worst of it, I've had my fair share of struggle. And I'm not just talking about struggling to live comfortably, but about struggling to pay bills and keep the electricity on and feed my little brother. I lived with that burden for a year and I think I may have to do it again. My mom wants to move the fams into a cozy apartment in Santa Ana, to save money. The problem is, I don't do cozy. And I don't do Santa Ana. Neither does my little brother.

Moving out wasn't the issue, it wasn't even a question. I was excited about the concept. And being a planner, I got more excited when I slowly realized that I could make it work, completely on my own. Fck, I've been paying so many bills around here that it pretty much adds up to the rent of a cute studio apartment anyway. Except this time it would be MINE. My furniture, my extravagantly painted walls, my dishes, my rug, my pictures lining the walls ceiling to floor. Call me selfish, but it would be nice to actually pay rent and utilities for something that was completely my own. I was more than excited. I was drooling.

But alas, there's always a catch. Where would little brother go?

I remember my 8th grade graduation. I remember how hard I cried at graduation, knowing that I was moving out of L.A. and into some God-forsaken city. Bellflower. wtf. None of my friends even knew where the fuck that was. I had to leave this lustrous city, full of characters and culture and life and move into the suburbs? Fuck that. I started thinking about how my brother would have to go to a new school for his senior year and how shitty that would be for him to have to start over and make new friends. And he's most likely going to CSULB when he graduates so imagine the commute. Sheeesh.

In the end I guess it wasn't much of a decision. It's obvious that I'll have to take little bro under my wing again, but I don't mind. He's a good kid and he's older now than the last time I had to take care of him so it should be easier if anything. And he so badly wants to get a job so I know he won't turn into some 25 year old freeloading pothead in the future hahaha.

Anyway, I'm rambling again so I guess just set your calenders for JUNE 2011. Come over to the LBC, spark a blunt and chill in MY beautiful apartment. Life's about to be sooooo good.

xx, loveLC