i'm a major changer

About three years ago, when most people my age were picking out their classes, I was busy picking out my roommates. When my peers were writing essays, I was paying the bills. When my peers were gaining their "freshman fifteen", I had to worry about putting food on the table for me and my brothers. While my high school class was focused on school and enjoying the spoils of their new college life, I had to play mom. So school naturally took a backseat. I never got the opportunity to fully experience college life. I missed out. The all nighters, study groups, orientations, internships, volunteer work, clubs, etc. As daunting as these activities may be, I feel like was robbed of a part of my life. Do I resent the circumstances which lead me down this path? Very much so. But I'll save that for another blog post.

A little down the line, things got better and little by little and the weight was slowly lifted off my shoulders. I found it hard to get back on the school grind. It was never my priority and call me spoiled, but the taste of adult life and the freedom associated with it was so satisfying to me.

So I overindulged. And it's difficult for me to admit this, but it's easy to ignore school when it never was your priority in the first place. Now that I'm getting older (I'm turning 22 next year, WTF) I'm beginning to wonder where I'm going in life. I've had about 50 freak outs and changed my major at least four or five times. I couldn't decide on my future because EVERYTHING interested me. So FML.

Hopefully this will be the last time I change my major and I'll be set in the right direction. Since I've graduated high school, I've followed so many paths. I am now partially trained in piano, french, bio/marine bio, fashion design and journalism. So I suppose I didn't waste too much time in community college. Now I've got an artillery of skills just in case the economy never picks up and I can't find a job :)

I want a normal life. I want school to be my priority. I want to go to an amazing school and I want to be able to travel and buy my own house. I want to be able to support my kids through college so they don't have to go trough the crap I went though. I want to be the first in my family to graduate and get a degree.

I just re-read this and I have no idea where I'm going with this. Sorry for the shitty post. Goodnight <3

xoxo, loveLC